Debora L. Griffin - Wife, Momma, Domestic Goddess and Jewelry Artist. Sharing everyday experiences, parenting while re-purposing and up-cycling unique handmade jewelry pieces. www.CraftedLocally.com
These are my opinions.
For whatever reason, my husband LOVES to watch
the train wreck of Mommas on Toddlers and
Tiaras. He is so entertained watching grown women make idiots of
themselves. Because I love him and
wanted to be with him, I sat in the room with him and watched with growing
horror. I couldn't believe not only how
some of these women act, but also what they were teaching their children.
These women (I could say
parents or families here because sometimes it is the whole family but for
brevity I’ll leave it at women, that’s 99.9% of what you see on the show) have
sexualized their children beyond belief.
It’s not enough that they are putting makeup on them to “make them
beautiful” and that toddlers look like a 20 year old. Or that they are buying
hair pieces for a 3 year old to wear, or even that they spend a truck-load of
money for “flippers” (fake teeth to improve the smiles) and sparkly beautiful $5000
gowns. No these women have to go on and sexualize
them through their stage movements, dance and their theme outfits.
 |
| Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman |
 |
| Madonna theme outfit |
Instructions at dance
practice or stage performance practice or whatever you want to call it might
include “shake your booty,” “flirt with the judges,” “show your sexy eyes,” “give me a real shimmy now” and the
killer for me “sex it up some.”
You heard me…”sex it up some.” To a three year old - “Sex it up some.” REALLY?
REALLY?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE
PEOPLE?
I think it’s time for a
disclaimer here. My daughter
participates in pageants. She has
participated in 3 school pageants over 3 years.
So at 13, 14, and 15 years of age, we bought her a formal (well,
actually she bought it. She saved enough
money to buy it herself, I’ll tell you more in a later post) searched for that
perfect Sportswear Outfit, put on a little extra makeup and let her strut her
stuff across that stage. Basically, she
has fun playing dress up with her friends.
 |
| E. in Blue - Miss Congeniality |
So you can see we are not
against pageants - not at all.
But what these crazy mommas
on Toddler and Tiaras are teaching their daughters just astounds me.
Even at 3 these pageants
could be beneficial. It could help a
child feel comfortable in the limelight.
It could help her overcome shyness…or if she’s really a stage hound, it
could give her a venue to perform a talent in front of a willing and
appreciative audience. As children get
older pageants can teach poise and self-confidence, and perfect talent
skills. They can teach children to deal
with stage fright, organizational skills, planning skills, time management, even
some beauty tricks that the average female may not know.
But WHY OH WHY do we have to
make it about being sexy? Why does a 3 year old need sex appeal? WHYYYYYYYY?
There were some other values
being taught to the children that concern me too. i.e.
- You have no value if you aren't pretty;
- Do whatever it takes to win;
- Belittle your opponent;
- Complain if you don’t win;
- Acting like a “diva” is
acceptable, nay, expected;
- No one else in this family
is as important as you;
- It's ok to treat your mother with
disrespect when you aren't getting your way;
- Screaming at people is
acceptable;
- Pitching hissy fits is
acceptable;
- Throwing things –
acceptable;
- Ripping costumes –
acceptable.
 |
| enough said |
 |
| screaming at mom |
 |
| hissy fit |
 |
| disrespect |
This list goes on and
on. Some of these behaviors were
prevalent because the child was tired and didn't WANT to do the pageant at that
particular moment. I get that. But at 3
years of age, I can definitively say…MOMMA put her there. MOMMA entered her in a pageant. MOMMA is responsible for the behavior and the training of the child thereof.
What ever happened to?
- Beauty is from within;
- Play fair;
- May the best man (child)
win;
- Learn from your mistakes;
- Act like a lady;
- Treat others with
compassion;
- Be respectful;
- Speak kindly to others;
- We’re in this together;
- You break it you pay for it
(or in the case of a 3 year old…you’ll do without)?
Tolerating unacceptable behavior
as a parent is just raising the next unproductive, uncontrolled, undisciplined
adult, because you are telling them in the moment THOSE are the values you
accept – live even.
As we got deeper and deeper
into the show I started questioning…why would these mothers do this? Why would they let their children act so
disrespectfully? Why did they act like
children themselves? Why was having their child look sexy important to
them? It made me start thinking about
some of the issues these mothers may be dealing with.
But this is a parenting blog so I’ll stick to that.
Parents – what you teach
your children matters. What you teach by
example is often more important that what you teach by instruction. Whether it is a pageant, sporting event,
field trip or just every day life, these are all teaching moments. And it is in these moments that your child
learns about themselves, develops their self esteem, their self worth, their
value, compassion for others, kindheartedness, self control, selflessness,
self-reliance, sensitivity to others, teamwork, strength, thankfulness,
thoughtfulness, loyalty... Again, the
list can go on and on.
Teach your children positive
values. Don’t blow it.
PS...not all of these pictures above show toddlers...but they are representative of what I saw on the program last night. Below are some photos submitted for Miss Photogenic...I believe they are all toddlers - touched up.
PPS...I realize the producers choose the worst behaved child and weirdest mom...makes for "good" TV.
Now just a little pageant humor...or not.
Debora L. Griffin - Wife, Momma, Domestic Goddess and Jewelry Artist. Sharing everyday experiences, parenting while re-purposing and up-cycling unique handmade jewelry pieces.
www.CraftedLocally.com
