My daughter was a senior
this year. It was a whole new
experience. She is my firstborn and her
entire life I’ve always gotten excited about the “new” experience.
We dealt with infertility
for 3 1/2 – 4 years until finally God gave us our first child through medical
science. She is adorable, beautiful, lovable, kindhearted, thoughtful, smart
and all things wonderful. 
But this year over and over I heard the phrase “it’s my last…” and “next year I won’t even live here and you won’t KNOW what I’m doing or where I’m going…” It seems they grow up before you know it. I was told this…but didn’t really believe it until this year. I suspect on move in day for college I will be experiencing another “new”…and it will be very emotional.
As we approach the end of
this journey, I ask myself, did I do all I could? Did I do the things I should have? Does she know what she needs to? Will she remember the fun times? Is it too late for a deeper
relationship? Does she know how much I
love her? Will we ever be friends? Do I have to let her go?
Intellectually I know the
answer is yes to all of them, but my heart still worries. Sometimes I reflect on the
feelings/experiences I have/had with my mother and I always think “I hope I did
better.” But honestly - my mom did a
great job…I stunk/stink at being a great daughter, but it’s through no fault of
her own. I hope one day my daughter will
think the same of her mother.
So today I write to tell her
a few last things before her final days in our home.
Samantha, YOU are the light
of my life.
You are kindhearted and caring – deeper than
probably you realize.
You are smart,
funny and a great joy to be around.
Your friends are some of the luckiest in the world to know you.
Your SISTER is "more" because of who you are to her!
I love you so much and will
be learning to live in the moment with you these final few weeks.
Debora
Debora I loved your post about first child leaving home! It's a tough one, however I found it tougher when the last one left home, for at least a day or two and then my husband and I celebrated having our home to ourselves and our newfound freedom!!!
ReplyDeleteps
Your daughters are beautiful...
Trish
Thanks Trish. Most of the time I do find the "last one" events the hardest but only time will tell on this.
ReplyDeleteAwwww Debora, I wasn't expecting this! It made me tear up a little. I never want my babies to leave home!!!!! My oldest at age 6 says he wants to live in New York when he grows up and I say "NO." New York is too far from Denver and I couldn't imagine not seeing his face every day. Your girls are gorgeous though and will be successful for sure :)
ReplyDeleteAmanda O.
Thank you Amanda...It is hard to imagine not seeing their face everyday. But God begins to prepare you in their senior year. Samantha has been on the go so much sometimes I have to just make her stop and stay home so WE get some of her time...and precious face!
DeleteThis is beautiful Debora. Something for her to treasure always. It amazes me that God gave us so much love for each of our girls and how we love them equally yet differently. They are truly unique. Samantha is such a lovely young lady and from what I have observed, she is a reflection of her Mother. Somehow the changes that occur with separation create a whole new relationship. Enjoy! Mona
ReplyDeleteThank you Mona...very sweet of you. I am looking forward to seeing how our relationship changes!
Delete