My daughter was a senior this year. It was a whole new experience. She is my firstborn and her entire life I’ve always gotten excited about the “new” experience.
We dealt with infertility for 3 1/2 – 4 years until finally God gave us our first child through medical science. She is adorable, beautiful, lovable, kindhearted, thoughtful, smart and all things wonderful.
But this year over and over I heard the phrase “it’s my last…” and “next year I won’t even live here and you won’t KNOW what I’m doing or where I’m going…” It seems they grow up before you know it. I was told this…but didn’t really believe it until this year. I suspect on move in day for college I will be experiencing another “new”…and it will be very emotional.
As we approach the end of this journey, I ask myself, did I do all I could? Did I do the things I should have? Does she know what she needs to? Will she remember the fun times? Is it too late for a deeper relationship? Does she know how much I love her? Will we ever be friends? Do I have to let her go?
Intellectually I know the answer is yes to all of them, but my heart still worries. Sometimes I reflect on the feelings/experiences I have/had with my mother and I always think “I hope I did better.” But honestly - my mom did a great job…I stunk/stink at being a great daughter, but it’s through no fault of her own. I hope one day my daughter will think the same of her mother.
So today I write to tell her a few last things before her final days in our home.
Samantha, YOU are the light of my life.
I love you with all my heart. God gifted us with YOU because you are what blessed us and helped us grow and mature as people. You are called by Him and He has great things ahead for you. I am so proud of who you are. You made a decision for college based on what God wanted for you and moved ahead against all obstacles.
You are kindhearted and caring – deeper than probably you realize.
You are smart,
funny and a great joy to be around.
Your friends are some of the luckiest in the world to know you.
Your SISTER is "more" because of who you are to her!
I love you so much and will be learning to live in the moment with you these final few weeks.